Guiding Light Copyright 2012
by sinkorship
Summary: My guiding light, my shining star. I always know just where you are. Although I wish and hope and pray, I still will wait another day. My guiding light, my shining star, you'll always be here in my heart.
1. Chapter 1

_**My guiding light, my shining star. I always know just where you are. Although I wish and hope and pray, I still will wait another day. My guiding light, my shining star, you'll always be here in my heart.**_

**Summary: N was alone. Or so he thought. He thought he was the only one with an abusive parent. Until he met Kiku. She found a way into his heart, and they fixed each other. He found his guiding light. She found a shining star.**

**Story rated Fiction M for violence, coarse language, gore, child abuse, and other stuff...**

**A/N: I hope you enjoy! Btw, I'm still contestshipper47, I just have a different name now! This is my alternate account, I will post all of my requests under this name. So, just don't get confused. **

**Okay, enjoy chapter 1 of Guiding Light!**

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N was alone. He had his own little world, and everyone else had theirs. He had his Pokemon friends and his toys. But no one else. N was often abused by his father for not being good enough. He had scars and bruises all over. He decided that day would be the day he left. He was tired of the abuse and cruel words. He was tired of being told he wasn't good enough. He was tired of not being loved. His father's "love" was too painful for him to stand. He decided he would take Zorua and Darmanitar. He flew away from his childhood home on the back of his Unfeazant. Tears flew from his eyes. N was finally free. But he was still alone, even in the real world. He was a broken, fragile, unsure little boy in a sixteen-year-olds body. He wasn't prepared for what reality would throw at him. Reality takes broken and breaks it further. Reality takes fragile and makes it insecure. Reality takes unsure and warps it into fear. It replaces love and hope with fear and distrust. Hatred moves in where peace once lived. N Harmonia was unprepared for the harsh world that lay just outside the castle gates. He'd grown up in a singular room. He could look outside and laugh at reality if he so desired. But now, he was in the real world where the tables were turned. Reality would now laugh at him instead. He was on the other side now. Unsure, unprepared, innocent and broken N would crumble. Reality would make sure of it.

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Kiku was a shy girl. Her parents always said children should be seen not heard. But too often, she was heard. Heard screaming and crying and asking what she did wrong. Kiku was just eight years old when her parents began to beat her and hit her and say she wasn't good enough. They'd scream that she was a horrible daughter and that she was lucky they were kind enough to keep her. She couldn't tell anyone what they did. No one would believe her. As Kiku grew older, her green eyes cried more tears, her thin body felt more bruises, and her young mind was broken beyond repair. She thought she was alone. She didn't know why no one wanted to be her friend. She had a few Pokemon friends who would comfort her, heal her body, and dry her tears. Her Munna, Audino, and Lillipup were her closest companions. At sixteen years old, Kiku decided she'd had enough of the constant abuse. She'd had enough of the cruel words. She'd had enough of the bruises and abandonment. She decided that night, she'd run away with her Pokemon friends and start over in a new town. She decided to cut her hair. Her long, amber hair that fell to her knees was chopped off to her shoulders and dyed a horrible red. She didn't want to risk her parents recognizing her. She cried as her hair fell to the floor. She jumped out the window, and started running, the wind blowing her tears back. She was prepared for reality. But reality would hurt her worse than her parents ever would. Reality would make sure she'd fall.

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Kiku sat in the park under a large oak tree. She felt tears run down her face as she read her mother's letter. It was mostly her father who abused her. Her mother just didn't do anything to help until her father was out of the house. _"Dearest Kiku, I'm so sorry your father forced you to run away. I'm so sorry I never stood up to him to protect you. I love you very, very much, my daughter. Just don't forget to call me sometime. I know I failed you as a mother, but I still love you, and as my daughter, I hope you'll find a way to forgive me for all the horrible things I've done. I love very much, and I'm proud of your courage. I know you'll go far on your journey. Best of luck, Mother." _Kiku sobbed. Her mother really did love her. She laid her head on her knees. A boy with green hair sat beside her. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He whispered, putting his hand under her chin to turn her face up to his. "My parents." She sobbed. "My dad abused me, and my mother just stood there until he left or passed out. So, I changed my hair, and I ran away." N looked away from her. "What's wrong with you?" She asked. "My dad used to beat me. A-And..." He trailed off. Kiku understood what he meant. "Oh, you poor thing." She hugged him, pulling him down until his head was on her chest, and her chin was resting on his head. "I was raised with only Pokemon for my friends." Kiku nodded, knowing what he was going through. "Me too. Munna, Audino, and Lillipup are my friends." The Pokemon gathered around her protectively. "You have an incredibly strong bond with them." N murmured. "M-Maybe we should travel together and get to know each other more." Kiku smiled. Maybe together, Reality wouldn't hit them so hard. Maybe. Just maybe...


	2. Chapter 2

_**My guiding light, my shining star, I always know just where you are. I wish I may, I wish I might, keep you in my arms tonight. My guiding light, my shining star, you'll always be here in my heart.**_

**Summary: N was alone. Or so he thought. He thought he was the only one with an abusive parent. Until he met Kiku. She found a way into his heart, and they fixed each other. He found his guiding light. She found a shining star.**

**Rated M for violence, gore, child abuse, coarse language, and other stuff...**

**A/N: Sorry I've been neglecting this story! I had homework up the asshole! Anywhore, here's chapter 2 of Guiding Light!**

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N was glad Kiku had asked to travel together. He liked Kiku. She was a good trainer, and she seemed like a nice enough person. "What caused these scars?" Kiku grabbed his arm. "M-My friends. T-they didn't mean t-to h-hurt me." N felt familiar tears welling up in his eyes. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." She looked up at the green-haired boy. Then, she hugged him. "W-Why are you doing this?" She looked at N funny. "W-What did I do to you?" He whispered. "N? D-Did your father hurt you?" N nodded. "Oh...You mean...Oh my god. I'm so sorry." She sobbed and hugged him. N tentatively wrapped his arms around the young girl. Her amber roots had begun to grow out from underneath their ruby red covering, blending together. "My father did that to me, too." She showed various bumps and bruises and scars from years of abuse. "I'm a failure." Kiku sobbed into N's shoulder. "It's...not your fault." That was a phrase N told himself each time his father beat and bruised and raped him. Kiku sniffled and said "R-Really? N-No one's ever said that to me before." She sobbed. "P-Please don't cry, Kiku." She looked up at him and whispered, "Okay."

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Kiku felt safe around N. She knew he wouldn't hurt her on purpose. But what was this other feeling in her chest? She placed a tentative hand over her heart. It was beating. Beating faster and harder than ever before. Her face began to flush. "K-Kiku? A-Are you okay?" N asked, becoming concerned. "Y-Yeah, I-I just need to lie down for a bit." She scrambled into the tent before she could embarrass herself further. _What's wrong with me? I-I'm not afraid of N, and I d-don't hate him. Is... Is this the feeling... people call... 'love'?" _Kiku sighed. She fell asleep for a bit. A few hours later, she found herself... contently warm. _HOLY SHIT! N-N... i-is sleeping next to me! _Kiku's breath hitched in her throat. Her heart was beating so loud and fast that she feared N could hear it. "K-Kiku... Y-Your heart... it's beating very fast. A-Are you sure you're alright?" _It's now or never Kiku. _She simply answered his question by gently placing her lips on his. As she felt N tense up, she pulled back. "I-I'm so sorry, N! I-I completely forgot! I-I don't even know wh-" N cut her off. His soft, inexperienced lips were on hers. _Oh. My. GOD. N is kissing me! For real! I'm actually getting a real kiss from a real boy! _Unlike the rough way her father had treated her, N was gentle and slightly awkward in his movements. When Kiku looked into his tea-green eyes, she felt safe. A warmth spread through her, though it was not because of fear. N made her feel... different. She liked this feeling.

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When Kiku woke up the next morning, she frantically looked around, making sure they were still alive. She looked down at N, who was sleeping peacefully. He smiled in his sleep. Kiku smiled at his fragile innocence. He was so sweet, and so naive. She absolutely adored him. She looked at her arms and counted her scars. In total, 18. Emotional scars, there were too many to count. The night her father started beating her. The night he stole her virginity. The night he almost killed her. She cried silently. "M-My father's... a monster." She whispered. "Kiku... Don't cry. You're alright now. I'll protect you. I promise. As long as you're with me, no one will ever hurt you again." Kiku smiled at N. "Thank you. But... You can't protect me from everything, N." "I know, but I'll try my best. You don't deserve to get hurt like that." Kiku leaned her head on the taller boys shoulder. In that moment, Kiku felt that everything was going to be okay. They'd be alright, as long as they were together. Reality didn't play that way. Reality played to win. And fate would do whatever it took make sure they lost the game called life.

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**ERMAHGERD! This chapter is, like, TOTAL FLUFF! So, yeah. Kiku discovers what love is. And we find out that N is sexually awkward, but who didn't know that?**

**TELL MEH WHAT YOU THINK SHOULD HAPPEN NEXT. **

**EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS GETS A COOKIE!**

**But seriously... Please review? *le hides***

**So, yeah. This took me like two fucking weeks to write. TWO. FUCKING. WEEKS. I WANT SOME REVIEWS BITCHES!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**My guiding light, my shining star. I always know just where you are. Will you hold me nice and tight, keep me safe and sound tonight? My guiding light, my shining star. I'll always keep you in my heart.**_

**Summary: N was alone. Or so he thought. He thought he was the only one with an abusive parent. Until he met Kiku. She found a way into his heart and they fixed each other. He found a guiding light. She found a shining star.**

**Rated M for gore, child abuse, coarse language, and other stuff...**

**A/N: Here's Chapter 3! I'm on spring break and I'm not feeling too good today. Forgive me if this chapter isn't up to snuff, though I might rewrite it or edit it later. But for now, enjoy what I give you, motherfuckers...**

**Reading-is-4-life: I'm so glad you like it! Thank you for reviewing! I'm actually really proud of this, so it's nice to get some praise from my readers! ^_^**

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Life was like a never ending fight. A fight to stay strong. A fight to stay alive. A fight to keep yourself. But N faced more obstacles in his battle. His father, his own flesh and blood, beat him and stole something he could never get back: innocence. Something you don't notice you have until you don't have it anymore. N thought he'd never be able to stop the memories. But sitting there, Kiku's head laying lazily in his lap, he felt utterly at peace. He played with her hair, the ruby redness almost completely gone from it, and her beautiful amber color was returning. N didn't know what it was called, but he felt something... something _strong_ for Kiku. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to be close to her, to know more about her. And, right now, he couldn't imagine a world where Kiku wasn't at his side. _Is... Is this what... 'love' really feels like? Is it normal for my heart to beat like this when I'm around her? Is it natural to want more than just a friendship? _Kiku stirred and made a soft mewling noise in her sleep. _She's... special to me. She's... what's the right word? Beautiful? No, that's insulting her. Angelic? Closer, but not quite it. _As a small smile graced Kiku's sleeping face, N found the word he was looking for. _Perfect. Yes... She's absolutely perfect. Unlike me. She's beautiful, flawless, perfect. Too... Too good for me. _That was when N noticed streaks of wetness down her cheeks. _Tears. _"Daddy... Please stop. I-I d-didn't mean to, please! Please!" She began crying harder, and woke up, unable to control herself. "Kiku! It's alright!" N instinctively wrapped his arms around her slim, shaking form, feeling the wetness of her tears on his T-shirt. "Shhhhh, Kiku. It's alright. I won't let him hurt you anymore." He whispered soothingly, kissing the top of her head. He whispered more soothing words until she had calmed down. "A-Are you alright, Kiku?" She nodded, a pale hand reaching up to dry her tears. "What were you dreaming about?" Crystalline green eyes looked up at him. "I... I had a dream about the first time my father... h-hit me." She said softly. "You don't have to worry anymore. I won't let him hurt you. I won't let anything hurt you."

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For Kiku, life was a daily struggle. A struggle to get out of bed, a struggle to live, and more importantly, a struggle to find a reason to live everyday. Everyone had a struggle in life, for that's what life was: the essence of struggle. But Kiku's struggle was far greater. Her father had dominated her life and made her life a living hell ever since that one day. _(Flashback...) Kiku had just finished her breakfast, and was about to go play outside, when her mother had asked, "Sweetie, would you like to help Momma do the dishes today?" Kiku nodded excitedly. Her mother was her whole world. Kiku loved her mother very, very much, and would do anything for her. "Okay, You dunk them in the suds, take the sponge, go swish, swish, swish til' the food's gone, then I'll dry them. Okay, sugar?" Kiku nodded. Her mother had recently fallen ill, and she couldn't do many simple tasks, like washing the dishes or doing laundry, by herself. Since Kiku was a 'Mommy's girl', she'd always volunteer to help her mother, and did anything her mother asked. Kiku grabbed the first plate and recited the cycle her mother just taught her. "Dunk it in the suds..." She dipped the plate in the soapy water. "Take the sponge." With her right hand, Kiku grabbed a soapy sponge. "Go, swish, swish, swish until the food's gone..." She scrubbed a few times until the food residue disappeared. "Then Mommy dries them!" She handed the plate off to her smiling mother. "That's right dear." Kiku was happy with the praise she received, and continued through the plates. "Would you look at that? We got all the plates done! Are you ready for level two?" Her mother asked, making Kiku giggle and nod. "Okay, for cups, you fill it half with suds, swish, swish, swish it around, then dump the water down." Kiku nodded. "Fill it half with suds..." The soapy water filled the cup just about halfway. "Swish, swish, swish it around..." She swirled the cup a few times. "Then dump the water down." With this cycle, the dishes were clean in no time. "Thank you so much, Kiku." Her mother squeezed her tight. "Mommy! I can't breathe!" Kiku giggled. "Now run along and go play with your friends, alright?" Her mother patted her head, and Kiku ran off. She bumped into a boy with brown hair. "Sorry. I didn't see you there." He smiled, helping her up. "That's okay. My name's Kiku. What's yours?" She asked politely. "My name's Benjamin. Nice to meet you!" They shook hands. "W-Where's you're doll?" Benjamin asked. "What doll?" Kiku asked, confused. "Aren't girls supposed to have dolls and tea parties, and girly stuff?" Kiku was genuinely confused. She may have been a girl physically, but not mentally. "I usually play in the mud and wrestle. Wanna do that instead?" Benjamin nodded. The two ran to the nearest mud puddle and began making mud pies. Kiku fell forward into the mud. A few older girls walked by, and Benjamin did the same so Kiku wouldn't feel embarrassed. "You didn't have to do that, Benji." He smiled. "I know. But that's what friends do: Trip so the other doesn't feel embarrassed." They played until the sun began to set, throwing mud pies at each other and wrestling. "Benji! It's time to come inside!" A woman called. "That's my mom. I gotta go. See you tomorrow, Kiku!" He shouted over his shoulder. Kiku watched Benjamin embrace his mother. She decided she should get home, too. "Mommy, I'm home!" She shouted in the doorway. She was dripping with mud. "My, my, my! This couldn't POSSIBLY be my daughter! This is a mud monster!" Kiku giggled. "I'm right here, Mommy!" Kiku laughed, wiping some of the mud off her face. "Aha! There's my daughter! Someone made quite a mess of herself didn't she?" Her mother knelt down and poked her belly. "C'mon, Kiku, let's get you cleaned up." She took her mother's hand and walked across the carpet, leaving mudprints. After her bath and dinner, her father came home. "KIKU! ROXIE!" He roared, making Kiku and her mother jump slightly. "Y-Yes, Papa?" Kiku asked. "What is the MEANING of this MESS?!" He shouted, pointing to the mud stains on the white carpet. "Kiku was playing outside and she got a little messy. When I walked her up to the bathroom, I forgot to have her take off her shoes. I'm sorry, Dan." Her mother said. "It's not YOUR fault, Rox. It's HER fault." Kiku's father pointed a menacing finger at the child. "How is it Kiku's fault?" "You little BRAT! You know your mother is sick! You know she FORGETS simple things! It was YOUR responsiblity to take off YOUR shoes before dragging YOUR mess all over MY white carpet!" He roared. "I-I'm sorry, Papa! I-It's won't happen again!" She squeaked, cowering in fear, but fell on her bottom. "You're damn right it won't happen again. Know why?" Kiku shook her head. "Because I'm going to fucking teach you not to fucking bring your mess all over the damn house, young lady!" He brought his hand to her, time and time again. "Oh, and, I don't want to see you playing with Benjamin again." Her father added, smirking as he left her on the cold floor. (End Flashback...) _"I-I thought you were hurt, Kiku. Please don't scare me like that again." N said softly. She nodded gingerly.

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Life is a never ending war: It knocks you down, tortures you, and then beats you some more. Some people give in. Life has allies: cruel, harsh reality, and the ever-changing game of fate. It's never easy, but some manage to make it up the mountain to a peak called freedom. Some people even manage to find love along the way. Kiku knew that was all her mother ever wanted for her: to find love. And Kiku believed she had found it. At least, she hoped she was right. Otherwise, reality held the advantage over a poor, broken shell of a girl, who was supposed to be a strong woman now.

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**A/N: So, for you lazy ass bitches, here's a little recap:**

**Kiku and N are kind of close now, and Kiku had fallen asleep with her head in N's lap (SQUEE) when she started having a night terror (cue flashback).**

**Blah, blah, blah, fluff, fluff, fluff. **

**Now... serious question and serious prize time.**

**If Kiku was a real character, anime or manga, what should their ship name be?**

**Reviewer who comes up with the best name gets a prize of their choice!**

**SO GO, GO, GO BITCHES! :D**

**Also, people who review get a virtual Pikachu!**


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